He was a very persistent guy though and eventually convinced me to come over and just give him head. He kept trying to find a way to get me to his house, of course, my nerves were still getting in my own way. The age difference really turned me on and was also how I imagined my first time. He was an older guy, 34 years old while I was 19. Eventually, I started talking to a guy really nearby, he actually lived in the same neighborhood coincidentally. Some guys were either weird or lived too far away, and my nerves were holding me back as well. I spent a lot of time talking to guys, all eager to fuck my virgin ass, but for one reason or another, I always found an excuse to not go through with it. I had no idea where I could find a guy to top me but after wasting time on various websites and apps I eventually ended up on Grnder. And as much as I liked the feeling, it still took me until shortly after my 18th birthday to actively try and have my first experience finally.
Finally, I decided to at least get a small butt plug, curious about how it'd feel to have something in my ass. At most I'd click on gay porn, 'by mistake', but never even considered acting on my new feelings. There's no way I could like other guys, at least that's what I thought to myself. At the time when I first started to get curious about other guys, I tried to deny it and pretend those feelings weren't there.